... Essential Guide To Gender English ...

A Guide To Woman's English

Yes. = No.

No. = Yes.

Maybe. = No.

We need. = I want.

I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.

Sure go ahead. = I don't want you to.

We need to talk. = I need to complain.

Do what you want . = You'll pay for this later.

I'm not upset. = Of course I'm upset, you moron.

I heard a noise. = I noticed you were almost asleep.

This kitchen is so inconvenient. = I want a new house.

Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

You're so manly. = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

I want new curtains. = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.

It's your decision. = My correct decision should be obvious by now.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate.

I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

A GUIDE TO MEN'S ENGLISH

I'm tired. = I'm tired.

I'm sleepy. = I'm sleepy.

I'm hungry. = I'm hungry.

Nice dress! = Nice cleavage.

I love you. = Let's have sex now.

I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex?

I love you, too. = Okay, I said it; can we have sex now?

What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

You look tense, let me give you a massage. = I want to fondle you.

Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

Lets talk. = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person. Will you have sex with me?