Newspaper Headlines in the Year, 2035

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35 year study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

Baby conceived naturally ... Scientists are stumped.

Castro dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton bans all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers and baseball bats be registered by January 2036.

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world ... California.

Texas executes last remaining citizen.

Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.



A QUICKIE LESSON ON NEWPAPER HEADLINES
For more information, you too can visit Wikipedia.

A headline is text at the top of a newspaper article, indicating the nature of the article below it.

It is sometimes termed a news hed, a deliberate misspelling that dates from production flow during hot type days, to notify the composing room that a written note from an editor concerned a headline and should not be set in type.

Headlines are written in much larger type size than the article text, and often in a different font entirely. Headlines are often in sentence case, although title case is often used in the USA.

Headline conventions include normally using present tense even when discussing events that happened in the recent past; omitting forms of the verb "to be" in certain contexts; and removing short articles like "a" and "the".

Most newspapers feature a very large headline on their front page, dramatically describing the biggest news of the day. Words chosen for headlines are often short, giving rise to headlinese.

A headline may also be followed by a smaller secondary headline, often called subhead or "deck hed", which gives more information.

And we now return to the present - Navigator - while the present is still in session.