... Jewish Mothers ...

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1. ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
   Again with the stovepipe hat; can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?
   
   
2. ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
   But it's your senior picture. Couldn't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something, ANYTHING...?
   
   
3. COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER:
   I don't care what you've discovered, you still could have written.
   
   
4. GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
   The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye.
   
   
5. JONAH'S JEWISH MOTHER:
   That's a nice story. Now tell me where you've really been for the last forty years.
   
   
6. MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER:
   Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?
   
   
7. MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER:
   After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that's the biggest smile you can give us?
   
   
8. NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
   All right, if you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me.
   
   
9. THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
   Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed.

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